Wednesday, September 02, 2020

Reigniting the Spark



Reigniting The Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy and How To Get It Back by Dr. Bruce Chalmer. TCK Publishing, 2019. 153 pages. **** Index, References.

Reigniting the Spark is part textbook, part case studies and part relationship advice. Chalmer provides information divided into four parts: Be Kind, Don't Panic, And Have Faith, Now Go and Learn. At the end of each chapter is a section called Reflections, which features a set of questions for you to consider. In order to protect the privacy of his patients, Chalmer creates composite couples that are followed throughout the book. It's easy for the reader to identify with and become intrigued by their stories. I found myself projecting as to which couple will stay married and which one will divorce. 

The Chapters on Faith and Forgiveness should be a must read for every married couple or those contemplating marriage. The assumption that everyone should get married is debunked and analyzed. Being happily married for 47 years, "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith." are easy words to remember when every day life is not what we expect. No one goes into marriage expecting failure.

I enjoyed reading and learned more from this book than I expected to. The format and structure of the book makes it easy to pick up and put down. Some chapters evoke reflection and discussion introducing aspects of a relationship that are rarely examined. Some spouses assume that if the other partner communicated better, the marriage will be better. Will this book solve all of your intimacy issues? Probably not, however, you will find comfort in the fact that many couples are just like you and this book will provide discussion points to reclaim and improve on your relationship. 

This book will make a great Book Club Book pick, many discussion points and relatable at any age and years married. Definitely a recommended read!

I received a paperback copy for a review.

Dr. Bruce Chalmer has been a psychologist working with couples for over thirty years. Through his teaching, consulting, and Youtube videos about relationships, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists.

He has also served in leadership positions in Jewish communities in Vermont, and is a musician and composer. He lives in South Burlington, Vermont with his wife Judy Alexander. They have five adult children and four grandchildren.  For more information,

No comments: